Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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