it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize