Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
