Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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