did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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