She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
