So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Someone shattered a urinal.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need water and some morals
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
