I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
