tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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