he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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