Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
