Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
