Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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