she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize