I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
