Swine flu. Run for my life!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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