It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
