Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She said her name was "party"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize