i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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