awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
