He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
