You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
