This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
