I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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