youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
