Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
