I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he quoted the bible to break up with me
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize