bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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