That's intense
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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