Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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