just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
