This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
