We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
