you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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