I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just saw a hot homeless man
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
