I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
