i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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