so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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