guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
