He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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