youre lurking in front of me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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