If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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