yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
