brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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