So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You were trust falling into bushes
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
