you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
