dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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