AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
