is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
