Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
