It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This is my gift to your gina
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
