that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
