But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
