Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
