my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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