every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There r osticjed everywhere
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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