Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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