if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
