I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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