I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
