Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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