Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize