so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
