Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the condom got lost in my hair
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
